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It is now 6.50pm on the 4th april 2001,my son is now in hospital awaiting major surgery on his spine,which he will be having tomorrow,me and my wife are sitting next to our son who is playing with some toys on his bed,unaware of what is going to happen,we have tried to explain but he doesnt understand as hes only 4 yrs old,he will be having his first operation tomorrow,which is in two stages,he will have the other in two weeks time.It is now 9.30pm my wife has had a bed made up for her next to our son,i will be sleeping upstairs in the parents room,10.30pm im now upstairs sitting on my bed sending a text message to my sister,i start to cry,sobbing i cant control myself,i try to calm down doesnt look like i will get sleep tonight.I wake up,its now 6.30 thursday morning i go downstairs to my wife and son,before we know it they are getting him ready for theatre,i am looking out of the window and begin to cry,i dont want my son to see me so i go into the empty ward next door,i calm down so i go back to my son,i see him sitting there on the bed in his little white gown,i start to cry again,i look away because i dont want him to get upset.They are here to take him to surgery, me and my wife walk beside him crying all the way,we give him a kiss with tears in our eyes,he is in there hands now for the next 5 hours.We are sitting in the parents room now both of us crying,i keep thinking why him,hes only four and has to go through this it seems to take ages,all things shooting though our minds,is he ok,why is it taking so long,suddenly the door opens, a nurse walks in saying its all over we can see him in intensive care,we see him,tubes and wires all over him,we sit with him all night,he did wake up once and spoke to us which was a good sign,we made sure he was comfortable before we left to try and get some sleep, but we never did.
Its now friday,we go to see our son,hes still asleep so we sit near him,holding his hand,then all of a sudden the monitor is beeping,the nurse looks concerned,she looks around for help,his heart rate is dropping,my legs feel weak,my hearts pounding,but all is ok it starts to get better,back to normal,it was a scare for us all,we stayed with him all day,he did wake up and had some ice-cream and a drink but he was sick soon afterwards.It is now saturday,the nurse says he had a comfortable night except for turning onto his stomach,we sit there and wait for him to awake,he wakes up and goes straight for his tube in his mouth and pulls it out,he is now breathing by himself.I cant believe it,they are moving him downstairs hes only been in intensive care for one day,they take him down and make him comfortable.Saturday night i was refused permission to sleep because they said they need the room,me and other parents complained because they had ten empty beds in the other room,but its no good we still couldnt stay,that night i had to sleep in my car,it was freezing,i was just staring at the wall thinking about my son,tears start to flow,i cant believe it,my son has just had major surgery and im not near him,and i have to sleep in my car,its a waste of time to drive home twenty miles away,but i wouldnt do that anyway,i have to be near him,what makes it worse is that on the way down to the other ward he got very upset,gripping his covers with both hands and kept shouting "help me up"he wouldnt stop his eyes just staring,this lasted an hour,then as quick as a flash he stopped,just changed back to himself,he didnt know what he was doing, the nurse said it was the drugs he was on.This is no good i cant get any sleep so i go to the restaurant,its 2am the place is empty,i sit with a cup of coffee,my heads spinning,i start to cry,i have to go the lady wants to close,so i walk around the empty hospital.
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