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I cant believe he has to go through it all again,when is this going to end,year after year,putting him through all this,and us worrying sick all the time,the operations are risky to perform,yet hes having them nearly every year,how much can we all take,if you are a parent,you will know what i mean all the worry,the stress,i know its part of life,and it goes with being a parent,but when you see your own kids laying on that operation table in their little white gowns,and them looking at you,and your looking back with the tears in your eyes,trying to hold them back so they dont get upset,its very ,very hard,very upsetting,but once again we are on the same road as last time,the same routine,and the same tears are about to flow yet again.We come to a discision to leave the operation this year and to see what the surgeon says when we go back in september.Its now september the 16th,just over a month ago my father died of an heart attack and we have just had some more bad news,the surgeon wants to operate again next year,but this time he wants to go through his chest as well as the back so he can put a strut of bone on the front of his spine to try and stop him falling forward,i dont think we can put him through that,its like having open heart surgery,opening his chest to go by his heart,then having it stappled shut afterwards,ive been crying ever since he told me that,even our son was asking me in the car on the way back,"dad what if they damage my heart"i told him they wont,but a child of eight shouldnt have to be going through this,neverlone thinking about it.Well its now boxing day,christmas went well as usual,all the family had a good time,kids smiling,happy with their presents,except for our usual time down our local working mens club,isnt it strange how some people dont care how other people feel,we take our kids down the local working mens club every boxing day and have done for about 12 years,this year you had to have tickets to get in,we didnt know about this neither did people who went down every week,but a few months earlier my father died from a heart attack and i didnt go anywhere for along time,all the tickets had gone by the time i went down,i explained to them,ive lost my father and my disabled sons love coming down the duncan road working mens club and have done for years,but all i got was "sorry mate but your to late all tickets have gone"
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they couldnt even make a few more tickets up for my kids,12 years a member,father died,disabled sons love going down but tough your to late,its strange how some people dont care,but some people are like that.Well christmas is over and ive lost my father,i get upset most nights because i know whats to come,but i have a few months before we see the surgeons again,lets hope this time things turn out for the best.Its now well into the new year,the 3rd of february to be exact,and to all the people who read this,i wish you all a happy new year,even though abit late i hope this year goes well for you all.Just before christmas i had the snip (male vasectomy)we are not having any more kids,we think fives enough,but to all the men who read this and are worried or anxious about having it done and they are thinking of having it done,let me put your minds at ease,there is nothing to it,takes about 10 to 15 minutes,i didnt feel a thing,infact i was chatting to them while they were doing it,no bruising,no swelling,no pain afterwards,so if its what you and your partner wants,then go for it,its only 10 minutes of your time.Well my son goes back to hospital in march and my hairs getting greyer by the minute,i think i worry to much,but i have alot to worry about,suppose this will be another year without an holiday,but if all goes well,maybe next year.Well its now april 2005 and we have seen the surgeon and just like we expected,our son has to go back into hospital so they can try again,the surgeon says in all his 20 years of doing this kind of operation,this is the worse and strangest case hes come across,he cannot understand why it keeps failing,we all hope this time it will be a success,i know i get mad with the surgeon,because we are always going forwards and backwards and it always seems to go wrong,but he must be under alot of stress as well,but hes really a great man,great at what he does,we can only hope this time will be succesful,we will just have to wait and see,my son is due to go into hospital in july time,he already knows what to expect as hes been through it so many times,also as hes getting older hes thinking about his physical appearance,i often see him infront of the mirror checking his posture,also he has swimming lessons at school but refuses to go,as he doesnt want people to look at him.We would like to say a big thank you to all the people who have read this and taken an interest,some of you know what we are going through or have had the same sort of operations,the next time you will hear from me is after the next set of operations,so i would like to say thank you to you all,and wish you all the best,wish us well and think of us.
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